no subject.

I haven't blogged since march!!!??

I guess I kind of got over it.  Sick of pouring my heart out for (basically) the whole world to see.  And to judge.  The internetzzz is such an interesting place.  I love the people I have met on it, even more so through blogging.  But at the same time it allows anonymous assholes to feel like they can dish out whatever garbage their dirty mouths desire.  I think that's why i've taken such a long "hiatus" from here.  Not that anyone has said anything rude to me. I mean, they have, in the past, ya know.  But what I meant was, that's not the reason I ultimately stopped blogging.

But in the last 3 months, I have lost weight, continue to work out (hellllo I want to be in FIGHTING shape by the end of summer:), visited Chicago for the first time --so FUN!, went on dates, dates that haven't gone anywhere, but such is life.  (I think i'm done with the whole "dating" thing for a while.  Tired of putting myself out there.)  For now I need to focus on ME. And continue to be healthy and getting back in to the best damn shape of my life.  Oh hi junior and senior year of high school when I played soccer and could run for dayssss.......I want those days back.

So for now I will continue on my journey to get fit and continue to be the best I can possibly be at my job which won't leave much time for blogging.  But who really reads this shit anyway? :)


OH! PS: I'm applying to go back to school! FINALLY!


I MISS ALL OF YOU & YOUR BLOGS!!!!!!! <3

All I have to offer is my own confusion.

OMG. Hi blogger! It's been months since I last wrote something. I don't have much to say. Except that I'm frustrated with life. Frustrated with people. Frustrated with this town. Shit talkers. Insecurity. This coast. This snow. This winter. And most of all, myself. I'm over it all.

I need some CHANGES in my life. Big ones. In fact I need to RE-gain control of my life. I lost it somewhere last summer and I've had enough of living like this. I'm not asking for you to understand. Or to get what I'm trying to say. Or to fix it. All I'm asking is for you to just..........

.......stand by me. While I try to figure this crazy thing out we call life.

Cynicism.

I find it difficult, especially in this day and age, and in my life particularily, to always have an optimistic attitude about things, and people.  However, this past Friday night, as I was watching Conan O'Brien's final episode of The Tonight Show, he said something that really stuck in my head.  And it went something like this:

"To all the people watching, I can never ever thank you enough for the kindness to me, I'll think about it for the rest of my life. All I ask is one thing, and this is.. I'm asking this particularily of young people that watch: Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism - for the record it's my least favorite quality, it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you, amazing things will happen."

He's right.  I need to stop worrying so much about what I DON'T have and focus on all that I do. Easier said than done.  But, I need to remind myself that I'm beyond fortunate in this crazy, messed up world and even though I've been let down a lot recently, I have to remember to keep my head up, keep working hard, and let the good things happen when they happen.

 


PS: Happy Monday Lovers!!!

PPS: Thank you California for sending us your yucky/rainy/windy situation. ;)

"I wasn't lost, or frozen, or gone... I was alive; I was alive in my own perfect world."

It feels like I haven't blogged in years.  Ahhhh!  I guess work has kept me busy with the holidays being over, etc etc.  But here I am.  I watched the movie, "The Lovely Bones" online the other day.  Totally legit too. Not some shitty bootleg copy, either.  The movie, I thought, was uplifting.  Weird to say if any of you know what it's about.  It didn't make me cry though.  (And let's face it, 'Bambi' makes me cry!)  If anything, I thought it was quite suspensful.  But not in that whole "scary movie" suspensful kind of way.  More like, I was on the edge of my seat for nearly the entire movie wanting her father to FIGURE.IT.OUT.  I never read the book so I don't know how it compares to the movie, but I didn't really like how it ended.  I mean, the karma of it, I liked.  But I didn't like how they never found her body.  Maybe that was the point.  IDK.  Overall, good movie.  I suggest you check it out if you haven't already seen it.

(PS: Susan Sarandon was great)

Now for something completely unrelated, I feel like I need to say something about Haiti.  I've been plastering my twitter/fb with news and pictures and videos.  I can't help but feel helpless.  All I can do physically is keep donating money.  Which is what they need.  I am still absolutely AMAZED at the amount of $ the Red Cross has raised through their simple text campaign. (Text 'HAITI' to 90999)  SO many generous people in this world. SO many celebrities taking the resources they are so privledged to have and giving aid to these people in Haiti.  That. That makes me hopeful.  Unforuntely there is nothing but chaos going on over there.  There is no one in charge.  Resulting in looting.  Which has resulted in a whole new realm of violence.  It is absolutely heartbreaking to watch. Or to see pictures of.  Boston.com has done an amazing job at putting up pictures from the aftermath of the earthquake.  Today, they had a blog entitled, Haiti six days later.  The pictures are just gut wrenching.  For some reason though, this one seemed to grab my attention the most:

(A boy lies injured in a makeshift hospital after the earthquake in Port-au-Prince January 17, 2010. REUTERS/Carlos Barria)

I have no words.  I really don't.  All I ask is that you please, please donate what you can.  And please be careful in choosing which charities/organizations you donate to.  Here is a link, that I personally trust, that has a bunch of places you can donate to: http://www.networkforgood.org/

On a sidenote, Coachella -ella -ella announced their lineup for this year.  Looks pretty freakin badass.  (Yep, I said badass.)  And it's right in the smack dab middle of my BIRTHDAY weekend.  Hook it up yo! :)

I hope you all are enjoying your 2010 so far.

Let's all be thankful that [for the most part] we are SAFE and happy and healthy.

X's and Oh's.