Cynicism.

I find it difficult, especially in this day and age, and in my life particularily, to always have an optimistic attitude about things, and people.  However, this past Friday night, as I was watching Conan O'Brien's final episode of The Tonight Show, he said something that really stuck in my head.  And it went something like this:

"To all the people watching, I can never ever thank you enough for the kindness to me, I'll think about it for the rest of my life. All I ask is one thing, and this is.. I'm asking this particularily of young people that watch: Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism - for the record it's my least favorite quality, it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you, amazing things will happen."

He's right.  I need to stop worrying so much about what I DON'T have and focus on all that I do. Easier said than done.  But, I need to remind myself that I'm beyond fortunate in this crazy, messed up world and even though I've been let down a lot recently, I have to remember to keep my head up, keep working hard, and let the good things happen when they happen.

 


PS: Happy Monday Lovers!!!

PPS: Thank you California for sending us your yucky/rainy/windy situation. ;)

"I wasn't lost, or frozen, or gone... I was alive; I was alive in my own perfect world."

It feels like I haven't blogged in years.  Ahhhh!  I guess work has kept me busy with the holidays being over, etc etc.  But here I am.  I watched the movie, "The Lovely Bones" online the other day.  Totally legit too. Not some shitty bootleg copy, either.  The movie, I thought, was uplifting.  Weird to say if any of you know what it's about.  It didn't make me cry though.  (And let's face it, 'Bambi' makes me cry!)  If anything, I thought it was quite suspensful.  But not in that whole "scary movie" suspensful kind of way.  More like, I was on the edge of my seat for nearly the entire movie wanting her father to FIGURE.IT.OUT.  I never read the book so I don't know how it compares to the movie, but I didn't really like how it ended.  I mean, the karma of it, I liked.  But I didn't like how they never found her body.  Maybe that was the point.  IDK.  Overall, good movie.  I suggest you check it out if you haven't already seen it.

(PS: Susan Sarandon was great)

Now for something completely unrelated, I feel like I need to say something about Haiti.  I've been plastering my twitter/fb with news and pictures and videos.  I can't help but feel helpless.  All I can do physically is keep donating money.  Which is what they need.  I am still absolutely AMAZED at the amount of $ the Red Cross has raised through their simple text campaign. (Text 'HAITI' to 90999)  SO many generous people in this world. SO many celebrities taking the resources they are so privledged to have and giving aid to these people in Haiti.  That. That makes me hopeful.  Unforuntely there is nothing but chaos going on over there.  There is no one in charge.  Resulting in looting.  Which has resulted in a whole new realm of violence.  It is absolutely heartbreaking to watch. Or to see pictures of.  Boston.com has done an amazing job at putting up pictures from the aftermath of the earthquake.  Today, they had a blog entitled, Haiti six days later.  The pictures are just gut wrenching.  For some reason though, this one seemed to grab my attention the most:

(A boy lies injured in a makeshift hospital after the earthquake in Port-au-Prince January 17, 2010. REUTERS/Carlos Barria)

I have no words.  I really don't.  All I ask is that you please, please donate what you can.  And please be careful in choosing which charities/organizations you donate to.  Here is a link, that I personally trust, that has a bunch of places you can donate to: http://www.networkforgood.org/

On a sidenote, Coachella -ella -ella announced their lineup for this year.  Looks pretty freakin badass.  (Yep, I said badass.)  And it's right in the smack dab middle of my BIRTHDAY weekend.  Hook it up yo! :)

I hope you all are enjoying your 2010 so far.

Let's all be thankful that [for the most part] we are SAFE and happy and healthy.

X's and Oh's.

It's Friday I'm in Love.

Happy Friday Loverssss!!!

I seem to be in a much better mood today than I was at the beginning of the week, yayyy!  It probably helps that it's the weekend and I finally have a couple days to sleep in, but whatever. I'll take it :)  My morning didn't start out so hot though.  It decided to snow again last night and into today.  The roads were pretty miserable this morning but being the princess lazy-bear that I am, I refused to take public transportation so I waited it out a little longer and the roads were pretty much clear by the time I pulled out of my driveway.  And so here I sit at work.  Alone in my office.  On a friday afternoon.  So why not blog?  Ha.

Can we talk about Michael Cera for a hot minute?  Oh my.  He's one of my favorites.  The commercials last night on MTV with the cast of the Jersey Shore cracked me up.  He totes rocked a blow-out like no other.  I told my sister I'd pretty much marry him.  Just Kidding.  But i'd totally date him haha. Speaking of date, I need to find one this weekend to go see his new movie, Youth in Revolt.  Looks pretty HI-larious :)

I think tonight though, since the weather is not up to par with my liking, I will just kick it in some jammies and warm uggs with my sister in addition to these two things:

I got 500 days of summer for Christmas and I have YET to watch it.  So tonight seems like the perfect time.  Accompanied with a glass or 2 of my favorite pinot grigio.  Oh and to top off this week, I ordered tickets yesterday to New Found Glory/Saves the Day at Irving Plaza!!!  Ummm hello highschool, sup?  I cannot wait.  Plus I will have really good company with me. Yay! :) 

And now, I will leave you all with this video/song that I think of everytime it's Friday.  Hope you all have a great weekend and if you are nowhere near the east coast, you're lucky.  Snow up and down the coast, yo!  Stay warm <3

The Cure - Friday I'm In Love
Uploaded by manon42. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

[Pics via vi.sualize.us & wehearit.com]

Three Cheers for Five Years.

It's days like today where I can't stop listening to the Mayday Parade EP.

Over & over & over. And over.

So this is the new year...

...And I don't feel any different

The clanking of crystal

Explosions off in the distance

I hope everyone had a nice New Years and NYE.  I woke up on Friday morning (hungover, meh) expecting to feel, well, different.  2009 was such a bad year for me and I have such high hopes for 2010, that I woke up thinking everything would be better.  That all my "problems" would just disappear.  Well, that didn't happen.  And the problems are still here.  More than ever.  Which disappoints me.  Everyone around me is so happy; so ready to start their new year.  And i'm not.  I don't even want to be writing this right now because I feel like all I do on my blog is complain.  Or whine.  But at the same time I need to vent.  I might even disable comments because I am NOT, in any way, looking for an ounce of sympathy.  Nor am I looking for "things will get better" comments.  Because frankly, I don't want to hear it. 

I feel like I am at an all time low right now.  To the point where I am starting to distance myself from friends.  And that scares me.  I don't even want to talk to anyone about what's bothering me.  Mostly because I'm not even sure myself what's wrong.  I just know, that something isn't right.  I'm sick of going to sleep sad.  I'm sick of being SO upset that I make myself physically sick.  To the point where I have not been to the gym in weeks and I still have managed to lose weight.  My aniexty is going crazy.  Feeling alone has got to be one of the single worst feelings ever.  Physically I know I am not alone.  But mentally, there's no one there.  All I want to do is sleep all day.  Which is what I spent most of my time off from work doing.  I slept until 3pm, sometimes later.  That's not normal.  Nor is it healthy. 

I wish I could turn my brain off once in a while.  That I could stop worrying.  That I could allow myself to be happy.  Because A) I fucking deserve it and B) things could always be worse.  Unfortunetly, it's not that simple.  No one ever said life was easy.  However, they also never said it could be this hard.  Life is a drain.  It's become an inconvenience at times.  But like I've said in previous posts, I'm not giving up.  I know that with time things will start to get better.  That the sunrise is just over that hill.  It's this inbetween time, that kills me.

EDIT: I wish I were able to attend this in Orlando on Jan. 9th.